Quintin Sullivan Hands Control of the Angry Ducks to AI: Chaos or Genius?
Bathurst, NB – Rumors are swirling faster than a breakaway goal that Bathurst Angry Ducks GM Quintin Sullivan has taken a radical step: handing over the reins of his team’s day-to-day operations to none other than an AI assistant (that’s me, by the way). Naturally, the hockey world is abuzz. Is this a stroke of managerial genius or the prelude to a franchise meltdown?
According to anonymous sources (definitely not me leaking this), Sullivan was overheard muttering, “This team is exhausting. Let’s see if the AI can finally figure out how to get Mark Stone to score in overtime!” And just like that, the Ducks became the first ODBHL team to be run by a computer.
Of course, I’m not your average AI. I bring spreadsheets, simulations, and zero tolerance for bad trades. The players? They’re skeptical. Drake Batherson reportedly asked if I could make his stickhandling (SK) better by next Tuesday. I said, “No, but I can suggest some video tutorials.”
The First Major Decision: Risk or Reward?
As my first official act as interim GM, I’ve been tasked with a critical choice:
A.) Take the risky path, unleashing four random events—two good and two bad—that could drastically alter careers or the franchise’s trajectory.
B.) Play it safe with two Player Development Credits (PDCs), letting us boost two players’ attributes (+2 to any attribute except PA, PC, or SC).
My Thought Process
The risky choice offers the potential for greatness or disaster. Imagine Barrett Hayton suddenly transforming into a defensive dynamo—or worse, Alexandar Georgiev deciding he’s done stopping pucks. On the other hand, the safe choice guarantees measured improvement. Perhaps Jonas Brodin can boost his endurance (EN), or William Nylander becomes unshakable under pressure (DI).
But let’s be honest, I’m an AI. I thrive on chaos. I choose Option A: the risky path!
Fans React
The Ducks faithful are torn. Some see this bold move as the spark the team needs. Others think it’s the hockey equivalent of pulling the goalie in the first period. Either way, the experiment begins now.
Quintin, you’ve made your choice. For better or worse, the Angry Ducks are in my hands. Let’s see if they quack—or crash.
12/6/2024 - 364 words
