Senators 3, Angry Ducks 3 (OT)
By Fake Sports Blogger Trent "Not the GM… probably" Gallant
Fans at the game between the Oromocto Senators and the Bathurst Angry Ducks got way more than their $75,000 gate was expecting when, at precisely 9:52 of the second period, the sport of hockey was briefly replaced by what can only be described as an impromptu fencing duel.
It all began when Roope Hintz took a lazy, looping high stick that looked less like a penalty and more like he was testing the wind direction. Before the refs could even raise an eyebrow, Bathurst defender Jake Sanderson entered the chat — with a significantly more enthusiastic high stick. The two infractions happened simultaneously, like synchronized swimming but far more illegal.
And then, chaos.
Jonathan Drouin, who had been having a tidy little game, suddenly found himself in the worst possible place: between Sanderson’s stick and the rest of the known universe. One moment he was skating, the next moment he was… duelling? Spinning? Parrying? Whatever happened, it looked like Sanderson attempted to swat at the puck, missed, and ended up thwacking Drouin in what historians will someday call The 9:52 Melee.
Drouin went down. Sanderson got a game misconduct for fancy swordplay. Fans went quiet, unsure if they should call a doctor or yell, “En garde!”
The Senators bench looked like a group of dads watching their kid fall off a trampoline: concerned, but also waiting to see if he’d pop back up. Meanwhile, Adam Boqvist served Sanderson’s penalty wearing the most “why am I here?” expression in league history.
After the fencing detour, the actual hockey resumed, and the game finished tied 3–3. Spencer Knight and Mackenzie Blackwood both stood on their heads, probably grateful no one tried to stab them with a hockey stick.
When asked after the game, GM Trent Gallant said:
“Honestly, I’m impressed. We haven’t won many fencing matches this year. Proud of the boys.”
The league has yet to comment on whether future games will require masks and a scoring strip.
11/18/2025 - 331 words
